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Understanding Responsibility: A Major Step in Self-Transformation

As I already mentioned in some of the early posts, creative visualization is a technique that works best when you understand the need of deep, thorough transformation of all the limiting aspects of your current mindset.

Your image at this time is a perfect mirror of who you've grown yourself into over the years. Learning to look in this mirror will tell you more about yourself than any advice or idea you may get from the outside. There is no better way to diagnose your own life than your own life itself.

The "responsibility block" as I call it is possibly one of the farthest-reaching mindset limitation. An overwhelming majority of people (myself included) suffer from it, as the block is nurtured directly from our ego and for most of us the ego is a very powerful force. It's also one of the most difficult to spot and accept, because accepting it means accepting that our lives - with all the great things and the hardship - are 100% our creation, our choice and our responsibility.

Today we look at a few ways to release the "responsibility block" and take control over your life. I would be really grateful if you could add any of your own suggestions, too - ideas gained through your practice and life experience. After all, we're all students when it comes to knowing ourselves :-)

Things don't just happen "to you". They happen WITH YOU.

Regardless of what you have on your hand (an unsolved problem, a painful or tricky situation, a dream you "must" realize, etc.), whining about it will only bring forth "stale" energy, frustration and eventually confusion.

Take ownership of the matter in hand. Start understanding that the event/problem/dream is not something that has just "dropped" on you from the sky. Each problem that you have is a call for a solution. Each powerful dream is an inner possibility strong enough to rise up to your conscience. Each riddle is a promise of a discovery journey.

Just embrace what comes your way. Even if a word, an event or a feeling looks like a minor or major misfortune, try to get the "feel" of it, "smell" it, get to know your new "friend". Remember that you are as much part of that problems's existence as it is part of yours, so understanding the problem usually leads to finding a good solution.

The only purpose of a problem is to teach a lesson. Your problems are often brought through from deeper levels of your mind in order to steer the attention of your consciousness towards solutions it may have otherwise ignored. So your problems are not "yours" in the sense that they happen to you, but in the sense that they are often "created" by your own mind, with a very specific purpose.

Understanding these facts opens up a world of new meanings. For example: we often take diseases as something "evil", that happen to us for no particular reason. In reality, a disease is an imbalance we have developed within ourselves (starting from the subtle realm of our being) which now comes back to manifest itself as a particular disease. The type of disease we have, its location and its form of manifestation all contain valuable clues as to what kind of imbalance we're dealing with and how we can work on the root cause of the problem. Our bodies may  suffer so that our subtle and spiritual parts can heal. Sometimes our Self searches for the ultimate form of healing, and such a high End justifies all means.... It's the same with other problems, even if they seem to be happening "outside" of ourselves: family trouble, problems with spouses or children, money problems, and so forth.

Once the higher level of our being is healed, so is the lower level as a natural effect. But whether we heal or not, we must take responsibility for the actions that have created that particular consequence: OUR ACTIONS.

At first, you may find nothing there because you don't know yourself to be "guilty" of anything. But if you dig deep inside, you may discover many aspects of your life that you may have overlooked or intentionally chosen to ignore. Unless they are dealt with, these "skeletons" in the corners of your mind will continue to claim what's theirs and demand that the balance be restored. If not, you will not fail to get an increasing number of signals in the form of health, family, financial or other personal problems.

When you acknowledge a problem as YOURS, something amazing happens. You feel empowered. You are no longer at the mercy of some "destiny" or worse - at the mercy of others. You are part of the problem, and therefore any action you take could be part of the solution. Once you assume ownership of something that happens to you, that problem is already starting to "seek answers" within. Just be calm, and look for the best way to solve the riddle - your mind will be there to guide you through!

Please remember that accepting responsibility does not mean blaming yourself. Blame is a negative emotion bringing forth more blocks, while responsibility is fundamentally liberating. While blame can only bring you down, taking responsibility will do the opposite: it will command you to stand up and take corrective action. Blame is crying over the past, while responsibility will empower you to accept the past, learn from it and act in the present.

Practicing visualization techniques at this particular time (when you are fully assuming responsibility for something) can be extremely rewarding. Because a mind in search for answers will always look for ways to communicate these answers (once found) to the "action center", your conscious mind. Creative visualization ensures good communication between your different levels of the mind and opens you to all the wisdom and intuition coming from your deep levels of consciousness. All this will not guarantee you solving the problem, but it may help a lot and in any case it will completely change your perception of the problem. And as such, what appeared as a huge obstacle may eventually look to you like nothing more than a bump in the road.

Responsibility: one of the inner pillars of creative visualization success 

Understanding responsibility and fully accepting it in your life is key in communicating to your mind that what you visualize is actually YOUR REALITY, not someone else's. Visualization is essentially a self-empowering technique, so using it on yourself is much more efficient than trying to work on others.

Again: taking responsibility doesn't mean you should blame yourself, especially for things you haven't done. Doing that will only lower your self-esteem and block the flow of energy from your life's vital force to your conscious mind. Taking responsibility starts with understanding the deep connection between yourself and everything that (seemingly randomly) surrounds you as part of your daily environment. Since all impulses and stimuli from the outside world are interpreted in your mind, you can say that every day you are a creator of your own little world. The world that you move in is shaped by you much like a painter shapes the environment of a painting. Any of Monet's famous landscapes would certainly look different if it was painted by Dali, wouldn't it?

Let's say for instance that you have a problem with your life partner. You know yourself to be almost flawless, while your spouse seems to be the root cause of all problems. You may also be thinking that your own personal problems - like your health or your finances - are also indirect consequences of your spouse's failures (to love, to give, to act, etc) and thus everything somehow becomes the spouse's fault.

In your mind, everything boils down to his/her flawed character - which may very well be flawed, indeed - and you imagine that the little mistakes you may have made so far were also caused by him/her. This usually leads to judgments of all kinds, anger, hostility and eventually separation.

Even if your spouse was indeed the one mainly responsible for the separation and you were actually correct in your appreciations and judgments (as confirmed, maybe by family, friends or other people), I'd say in this case there may be a problem with your attitude when it comes to assuming responsibility about the relationship. I will explain myself, and suggest a possibly different approach.

Let's say you want to use visualization to try and "help" the situation, clarify things and improve your marriage. You may be tempted to start by visualizing your spouse as a better person, full of the qualities you'd like to see in him/her. You may want to invite her to your personal sanctuary, and have your inner guide share some valuable advice with him//her. Or you may want to offer that advice yourself. While there's nothing wrong with doing that, I think there may be a much more powerful way to deal with the situation.

In this case, I'd suggest starting your session with a few strong affirmations (in alpha):

  • My spouse (name) is not in control of my life, I AM. I am responsible for my own life.
  • Both myself and (name) have created the relationship/marriage we have now. We are both equally responsible for our connection. I fully take responsibility for my own damaging words & actions, and I accept full credit for all my constructive, positive words & actions (it actually helps if you take time to identify such damaging words and actions of yours first, so as to be fully sincere).
  • I am fully responsible for the way I perceive (name). Now, I see the best in her. I trust (name) completely, and I understand his/her actions. I choose to let go of all emotions and thoughts that currently block our connection.
  • I understand that my actions should serve as a model and inspiration for 'name'. I am in full control of my actions, and my actions now serve the purpose of (state the goal). I am now ready to inspire and support (name) to be the best of herself/himself.
  • I am now fully open to see (name) without judgment or hostility. I am now fully liberated from the past, which I accept as a valuable lesson. I am happy about the present & I am confident in the future.

Of course you don't have to use these exact phrases - you can shape your own around the things you believe in strongly. But I suggest that all these affirmations be centered around yourself, your power of forgiveness, your power to let go of the past, your desire to understand the other person and connect with them.

Focus on your capacity to change your life (don't worry about changing the spouse's, because if you hold on together a change in you will inevitably trigger a change in your partner, too). Take responsibility. Understand that what you see as something the spouse is "doing to you" can equally be seen as something you do to yourself. Release yourself from "imagining" things about others - those are simply judgments and works of our ego, useless to us. Understand the huge power you hold within. God created mankind in his own image - to me, that is a direct hint towards the incredible power of creation invested in us. And with creation comes responsibility. Embrace it as one of our most valuable gifts and one of the strongest tools we were given in order to shape our own lives for the better.
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  1. gotta say, this was amazing!! a heartful thank you for this piece, which was inspiring to say the least. I have problems with my daughter we're not speking to each other and your words pushed me to take action and accept my own faults. thank you! God bless

  2. glad i could help! If we all took responsibility at least for one aspect of our lives we're currently selfish or immature about, we would probably live in a world with 90% less suffering. thanks for stopping by :)


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